NOTE: ALL ESSAYS IN THIS BOOK HAVE BEEN UPDATED SINCE THE FIRST PRINTING IN MARCH 2021.
When readers hear the word “essay,” they immediately conjure up images of an Ivy League professor with a tweed jacket, a pipe on his desk he displays for show, and a carefully trimmed beard that turns a weak chin into the illusion of a strong intellect. Fortunately, there is no college degree required to read these essays. They do not require any “deep thinking” like the supercomputer Watson from IBM. The only necessary credentials needed before reading these essays are an overactive sense of curiosity about the world around you, a refusal to let confirmation bias stifle your thought patterns, and an utter lack of mental conformity.
The essays in this book were published in magazines, websites, blogs, newspapers, and online publications. The essays you will (hopefully) read in this book offer you a unique glimpse of the world around us without the intellectualized insinuations.
In part one, you will meet ordinary people who are neither one-percenters in wealth nor social media attention junkies whose motto in life is “look at me.” Instead, these “heroes” qualify for this unique pantheon because they are so good at what they do, so passionate about what they do, or just know the right things to do. No secret sauce. No excuses. These people are your neighbors who help you shovel out your driveway, your book club member who always brings apple pie and the driver who lets you slide in front of them in a traffic jam with a simple wave of the hand to say, “go ahead. I can wait.”
In part two, we go on a tour of the American home (no VRBO reservations necessary) with stops along the way to learn about the history of the bathroom, why houseplants may be trying to murder you, and an investigation into your kitchen sponge and its descent into germ supremacy. Then we invade the workplace and examine the battleground of the breakroom, enjoy a tasting of employee whine, and survive the monsters of the cubicle world. In part three, we spread our rhetorical wings with essays as discursive customer service bodyguards, the myth of low taxes, the dumpster fire we call American health care, and the sad state of customer service today. Finally, before you collapse, we take a few swings at America’s punching bag --- the media. How about a cable channel for narcissists? How did The Supremes score their first number-one single? Is the pen mightier than the keyboard? Are we still reading?
Why should you bother to read these essays? Three reasons come to mind. First, the essays are short enough to be read during most TV commercial breaks or while your streaming show is buffering. Second, these essays are guaranteed to make you laugh, cry, or become “let’s storm The Capitol” angry. Third, they can help you question firmly held beliefs that you’ve picked up on your favorite cable TV news network, podcast feed, or pre-set radio station that have forced your relatives, friends, and co-workers to ask each other, “What’s wrong with Nick?”
Essays include: Navy Spouse Wins President's Volunteer Service Award; A Hero Who Speaks the Language of Compassion; The Revolutionary General; Why This Manager Is A Corporate Hero; Meet the Parents – Once Removed; Dirt Whisperer; The History of the Bathroom; Five Reasons Why Your House Plants Hate You; Why I Hate The Open Floor Plan; The Up And Down Case Of The American Garage; The Time Savers In The Kitchen; Your Friendly Neighborhood Fascist; Americans Have Too Much Stuff; Why Steve Jobs Made It Okay To Be A Horrible Boss; The Five Worst Acts People Commit In Public; What If People Had Their Own Automated Phone Systems Like Companies; My Customer Service Bodyguard; The I’m Sorry School Of Customer Service; Is Listening To An Audiobook Different From Reading A Book; and Top Ten Songs Of August 22, 1964.
Publication Date: March 27, 2021
Pages: 276
Goodreads Review: 4.0
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